Fake it till you make it

March 10, 2016

Fake it till you make it

Forever 21 trench, Anine Bing sweater, J Brand jeans, Urban Outfitters sneakers, Superdry scarf, Zara bag and H&M sunglasses

Feeling confident is not something I have mastered yet in my life. Maybe for some it comes easy but for the rest of us, it does not. And it affects everything we do, I know for sure it has stopped me from pursuing my dreams and goals from the blog to my relationships.

As I have gotten older I have realized more and more how many people out there who have the same self-esteem issues as me and just how important it is to feel confident. Confidence isn’t just something your born with and it’s harder to get then some may think. You always hear “practice makes perfect”, “confidence comes from within”, “you just got to put yourself out there” but all of these things are easier said then done especially coming from someone who does feel confident. So then what’s next? That’s my question.

I think confidence is something built over time, some develop it at a younger age, maybe there parents advocated for their children to speak their mind or it’s just something that as a child they grew into but for some of us, that has never come. One quote about confidence has actually made a little sense to me which is “fake it till you make it”. I guess you can look at this in different ways but to me this is about confidence and I have had to fake it in some circumstances like in job interviews, starting a new school, going to an event where you don’t know anybody which I am sure we have all been in.

So how do we start to gain confidence? I have been in those awkward situations and I don’t feel like I have gained any confidence from that but that doesn’t mean it has not helped. So maybe it’s just about time. If you aren’t ready for change then you can't accept it in?

But maybe if you are ready to change and are actually willing to try (baby steps) and make a difference to feel confidence then maybe the sayings above will help. And maybe those people telling you what you should do, will make sense to do. So…

Fake it till you make it - I literally do this on a day to day basis. And though I am far from change, it works sometimes.

Be honest - This self-esteem thing goes both ways, I also don’t want to come across as self-conscious but I have started to be more honest about it with myself and others. Then you don’t have to hide from it and I bet who ever you are talking to has the same sort of issues.

Do things that scare you - And I don’t mean anything crazy because I am not there yet. I mean like go to a movie alone (I haven’t even done that - too scared) or go to a coffee shop by yourself. I think a lot of people with confidence issues are scared to do things alone, I know I am, so start super little by taking a walk by yourself, things like that. I have tried a bit lately and it has put me in a panic at first but slowly it becomes okay.

I am going to stop there but again like I said I am in the same boat and I do not have the answers but these are little steps I am trying to take and seeing where it will take me. Some days are better then others but I’m trying and I think that matters.

Is there anyone who does something different or fighting through these same issues? Feel free to leave a comment and let some of it out.